Things
To smoke or not to smoke? That may not be THE question, but it’s certainly one of them while I’m here in India.
I don’t really smoke cigarettes back home, but I’ve started doing it occasionally in India- mostly because living here is so damn stressful and the delicious but evil smoke calms me down a bit.
In India, the men smoke constantly. The women never smoke. What am I supposed to do? I want to fit in, but gender inequity aint cool yo. Do I spoke to show that women can do anything that men do? Do I not smoke to show that I can respect their cultural norms? Does smoking represent women being empowered or American women being sluts? Should I compromise and only smoke bitis, the evil little homemade uber-cancer sticks that rural men and women smoke and nobody likes?
It’s exhausting to always be noticed and analyzed and judged. All the time, no matter where you are or who you’re with, people are watching. I am not Sarah Press in India. I am the living embodiment of the White American Woman (Probably Rich) and everything I do reflects on not just me but my people.
Which is ok. I can deal. Honestly, I can. But for the love of god(s), do I really need to have this mental debate in my head every time I think about lighting up? It really negates the whole stress reduction thing.
I don’t really smoke cigarettes back home, but I’ve started doing it occasionally in India- mostly because living here is so damn stressful and the delicious but evil smoke calms me down a bit.
In India, the men smoke constantly. The women never smoke. What am I supposed to do? I want to fit in, but gender inequity aint cool yo. Do I spoke to show that women can do anything that men do? Do I not smoke to show that I can respect their cultural norms? Does smoking represent women being empowered or American women being sluts? Should I compromise and only smoke bitis, the evil little homemade uber-cancer sticks that rural men and women smoke and nobody likes?
It’s exhausting to always be noticed and analyzed and judged. All the time, no matter where you are or who you’re with, people are watching. I am not Sarah Press in India. I am the living embodiment of the White American Woman (Probably Rich) and everything I do reflects on not just me but my people.
Which is ok. I can deal. Honestly, I can. But for the love of god(s), do I really need to have this mental debate in my head every time I think about lighting up? It really negates the whole stress reduction thing.
posted by Sarah at
4:17 AM
1 Comments:
Sarah dear, i hate to sound like a (morally inadequate) mother, DON'T SMOKE. Its evil and it took me months to quit.
i miss you, see you sunday!
Michu
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